Unmatched Libidos? You Only Have Three Options
The Cooper and Anthony Show is a lot of things, but at it’s core it’s Sex, Relationships and Advice. Cooper, a psychologist with a PhD, is more than qualified to help. Our listening radio family has shared so much of their personal lives with us and we hope that their questions are your questions too. One of the most common issues people have and one of the regular questions we get deals with unmatched libidos. That’s when your sex drive doesn’t match with your partner’s. What do you do? Welp, you really only have three options:
- ONE Accept them for who they are, and be grateful that they are being honest with you about it. You can check it out further to see if they want to figure out why things have changed between you. Maybe your partner is on meds they weren’t on when you first started dating and the sex was hotter? Or maybe there’s an emotional issue going on. You need to help them figure that out. By prioritizing your relationship over your sex life, you might have to have your needs met by taking care of things yourself. You can masturbate in front of them if that turns you on, get some sex toys, whatever…but accept the fact that your sex life is what it is.
- TWO Ask them for an open relationship where they are your primary partner but you can get your sexual needs met with other people. Just set some boundaries, like no seeing someone else more than once or DADT (don’t ask, don’t tell), some of the rules most open couples set. For more info on how to have an open relationship, check out our discussion on the topic in the past.
- THREE If sex is that important to you, and for many people it is…you’re going to have to find another relationship with someone else whose libido matches yours. Many couples who start out hot, hot, hot and then cool down within a year or two feel slighted. One partner might feel like the person their partner was at the beginning -sexually active with a seemingly high libido – is not who they really are. You may feel like they were dishonest, sexually speaking and you may end up resenting them.
So, if you have come to discover your libidos and sex drives are unmatched you can stay and work it out. Prioritize the quality of the relationship over your sexual desires, because for some people, it’s just not that important. Or, if it becomes contentious and you feel angry or resentful that your partner is being selfish, you could ask for an open relationship or move on altogether. The one thing that is not your choice is your partner’s sex drive. That’s usually fixed and if it changes drastically from the beginning, it could be emotional or medical. Ultimately, it’s up to you how you choose to handle unmatched libidos.
