Got Married Too Young Now He Wants Out
Q: Jason told Cooper and Anthony that he is 25 and married for 5 years. His wife is 31 and they have two kids. His problem is that he got married too young. He has no free time and is still too young which is why he feels like he’s missing out on life. He realizes that this is not the life he wants or the commitment he wants. In fact, after being married he sees no purpose for marriage and feels like it’s just a legal proposition where you’re someone’s property. He wants no part of it. What should he do?
A: Great news, you don’t have to be in a marriage anymore if you truly don’t want to be. But you should try marriage counseling before jumping into this new decision. You jump into things impulsively, so you may want to take some more thought time this time around. That said, staying in a marriage where you’re so unhappy and seeing marriage as people owning each other is hurting her, your wife, even more.
If you decide to separate, it’s going to be painful, it’s going to suck, and hopefully it won’t be contentious, but at 25 you are just becoming psychologically mature and just becoming an adult.
You need to sit down and have a civil talk with her, tell her how you’re feeling, don’t make it a fight, certainly not from your side, but you have to be honest with her.
Tell her everything you told us. The upside is that she is only 31, so when she’s ready she probably wont have too much trouble meeting someone new if that’s what she wants, but for you, you need to be up front with anyone and everyone in your life that marriage is off the table.
Too bad you didn’t know that about yourself at 20 but you were young, it takes time and takes experience to get to know yourself so, now you do.
Divorce or separation should be approached as a last resort when all efforts to salvage the marriage have been exhausted. Consider seeking professional help and exploring alternatives like marriage counseling to see if your relationship can be rebuilt. Ultimately, the decision is yours, but it’s essential to prioritize the well-being of your children and approach the situation with sensitivity and care.
Co-parenting is also a topic that needs working out. You have two children, so, their well-being should be a top priority. Aim for an amicable co-parenting arrangement that focuses on their best interests. Work together with your wife to create a parenting plan that supports your children as best you can.
