The Oakland A’s Should Rebrand, And Here’s What We Could Call Them

Baseball season is here! The crack of the bat, the smell of hot dogs with bad beer...and Vegas Showgirls? Before now, baseball season in Sin City meant allergies, half-naked drunk tourists and boring sports bets (football is way more fun to bet on). However, things are a changing.

The Oakland A’s are making their way to Vegas. But they might need an image makeover to keep up with Sin City.

Recently, nbcsportsbayarea.com released the first renderings of the new stadium. And I must admit, I love the design. It's unique, exciting and, quite frankly, it's high time we had a La Concha Resort in this city.

Seriously, though, with the stadium's new look, should the team keep the branding? According to FanNation, the answer is no. They suggested that if the A's rebranded, it would give the A's image a fresh coat of paint.

And they might be right. But what should that coat be? What should, we, Las Vegas, call the new ballclub? I have ideas...

Sure, we could be The Las Vegas Sinners, Gamblers or LV Strippers...(what? I meant as in "LV Strip". Get your head out of the gutter). But names like that are too easy and boring, quite frankly.  And does it truly represent the city? No.

I want to be thoughtful when it comes to such a major name change. And I, of course, want to represent Vegas in the most meaningful, transparent and super crass...I mean honest... way.

Let's start with The Vegas Rhinitis. Named after the crap the desert air does to our allergies.

I mean, if you live in Vegas, then you have allergies. Even if you didn't have them before moving to this fine city, like me. Pre-Vegas, I thought allergies were a lame excuse for crying, calling out sick and blowing boogers on your neighbors.

Now? I own stock in bee pollen, Claritin and Kleenex. Besides, we could use that cute emoji of the little face blowing its nose. Those are fun.

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Another option could be the LV Tour Guides. Because, when you live here, that's exactly what you are. Before I moved to Vegas, I was the red-headed stepchild in my family. NO ONE CARED. But the moment I moved to Sin City? I had arrived, and so did everyone else I knew.

I was getting Christmas cards and beef baskets from everyone with my last name. At one point, I had more visitors than Graceland in August. So much so, I briefly considered buying property near, or right on, the tarmac at Harry Reid Airport.

If you live in Vegas, you’ve also lived the life of "and on the right we have two incredibly wasted Elvis’ duking it out with each other... and on the left, we have The Bellagio.”

I do like those two name options. But I've got to say, I think what would best represent Las Vegas is The Las Vegas Pimps. Oh, come on, it's the most honest and colorful option.

Imagine the mascot. Think Snoop Dogg playing Huggy Bear from The Starsky and Hutch movie. Lavender three-piece suit. A b------' hat with a purple brim and a mink more colorful than the Las Vegas Strip at night.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=13&v=MtUcpYifkAk&embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Famericansongwriter.com%2F&embeds_referring_origin=https%3A%2F%2Famericansongwriter.com&source_ve_path=Mjg2NjY&feature=emb_logo

You laugh now, but it can't be worse than the Green Bay Packers. They were named after a meat-packing plant, according to mandatory.com. Would the Oakland A's rebranding to the Las Vegas Pimps be so much worse than that?

No. Besides, a feather in a baseball cap might just become a fashion trend.

Although the Super Bowl is behind us, there are still plenty of football subjects to dive into. Of course, the combine, free agency, and the draft are all approaching. However, in addition, there are a few NFL teams who have hinted at wearing new uniforms next season.

Typically, a full unveiling of these fresh threads comes in late spring or summer once the schedule is out and new players are on the roster. Still, there are some things we already know. Part of this has to do with licensing agreements. The NFL and Nike (their official uniform partner) need to go through certain protocols in order for new uniforms to be allowed. At times, this can take a few years. So, in short, preparation for these expected uniform changes began long ago.

Present-day NFL allows for teams to have their typical home and away set and the alternate look. Often, this is a nod to a throwback uniform that was a fan-favorite years ago. For example, in 2023, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers brought back the special edition creamsicle uniform.

Before we take a look at the NFL teams that will be sporting a new uniform look in 2024, let's address a related topic.

Again, this is easier said than done, but here are a few suggestions for teams that can use an upgrade. First, the New York Giants should make their throwback look permanent. This sports the "Giants" logo on the helmet with the red and white striped jersey sleeve the team wore in the '80s and '90s. Bringing back the red alternate jersey then allows for the special look twice a year. The same argument can be made for the Philadelphia Eagles. When you have that sharp "Kelly Green" set, there is no reason not to wear them at any opportunity. As for a complete overhaul, let's suggest the Indianapolis Colts go back to the drawing board. The white horseshoe helmet works (just change the facemask to blue), but the jersey and pants are stale. Less can be more these days with uni designs, so how about adding a little life here? At least the jersey can be as exciting as the future franchise quarterback, Anthony Richardson.

Those three thoughts may be long shots. However, these are not. Here are the four teams we expect to rock new uniforms looks next season.

Let's call it Aaron Rodgers 2.0. It's definitely not a bad idea to try this experiment all over again. With Rodgers back from a gut-wrenching injury, 2024 could be what fans expected 2023 to be. Perhaps having extreme patience will make the wait worthwhile. The assumption is that the Jets new uniforms, which will be unveiled in April, will resemble the "Legacy" look.

With the offensive rookie of the year in C.J. Stroud being the face of the franchise, this feels like the perfect time for the Texans to change up their look. Aside from the red alternative helmet and jersey, their previous uniform set did fall victim to the Colts' disease of just too boring. Let's just hope they don't get too flashy. The Tennessee Titans twice wore their Houston Oilers throwbacks in 2023. It has been revealed that the Texans are now doing the right thing and incorporating this iconic H-Town Blue color into the new look.

This should fall into the category of adjustments instead of a completely new look. There has been a ton of speculation already. We do believe the orange jersey will sustain. The biggest challenge the team has had with their current look is the slash-style "stripe" on the pants that don't mix and match. So, 2024 will feature a new QB in Denver, sporting the updated look.

This one flies under the radar a bit. The Lions revealed the alternate blue helmets last year. Some wonder if the popular black jersey from the early 2000s will return. It would be unfortunate for the Lions to get too far away from their traditional blue, however a stronger color scheme might be just what the team needs to take that extra step. The black jersey option might also be a good match for Dan Campbell's MCDC Metallica fandom.

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