A “Porch Pirate” Made Off With A Homeowner’s Entire Porch

A Georgia man is giving a new meaning to porch pirate after a recent arrest.

According to this report, a man named Robin Swanger was arrested for stealing a neighbor's porch from the front yard.  Yes, the WHOLE PORCH all 8 feet by 10 feet of porch!

The house had been removed from the lot, but the property owner says the porch was NOT up for grabs. So it was just a porch to nowhere in the middle of an empty lot covered in No Trespassing signs.

The owner of the porch said that it was NOT up for grabs even though they moved the home off the lot. During the investigation, the porch reappeared on the lot but was upside down.  Police were looking for Swanger for days in relation to the investigation.

They found him when they got a call to his residence on a domestic abuse situation. Swanger was arrested for the porch theft and also charged with two counts of domestic violence.

You don't have to be a genius to be a criminal.  This is a post dedicated to the dumbest of the dumb criminals.

We assume some criminals are so into their plans of law-breaking that they don't realize they are making some obvious mistakes that will lead to their capture. It could be something as dumb as leaving their ID in a home they just burglarized or committing a crime right in front of a police officer.

Whatever dumb detail they missed, we are here to laugh about it.  Check out the Idiot Criminal of the Day below.

A dad in Connecticut called the cops to report his kid missing after he popped into a grocery store, and they weren't in the car when he got back.

But it turned out he was just DRUNK, and didn't realize he forgot his kid at home.

He was arrested on several charges.

Being denied a Happy Meal from a stranger could put a frown on most people, but this guy took it to another level.

According to a report, a man in North Dakota refused to buy a random guy a Big Mac and Happy Meal at McDonald's, and told him to "go get a job."  So the guy pulled out a GUN, threatened him with it, and got arrested.

Two idiots in Florida stole an old lady's wallet at Walmart, and used her credit card to buy $2,000 worth of stuff.  Then they got arrested when they came back the next day while cops were there investigating the theft.

A 33-year-old drug dealer in Florida got arrested on Friday after he called the cops and said a customer stole $10 from him.

According to this report, Eric Thomas, called officers to report a theft of $10. When they arrived he had 11 baggies of pot in his possession and confessed that the person who stole the 10 bucks was there to buy pot. Both of those are no-no's in Florida.

During a post-arrest search, cops found two baggies of cocaine in his wallet. He was arrested and charged with a pair of drug felonies and booked into the county jail.

North Carolina’s own Melvin Emde is back in police custody after allegedly, and unsuccessfully, trying to fake his own death.

According to reports, on August 7th, police received a call from Emde’s son saying his dad had “fallen overboard in a kayak” and drowned. That was the same day that Emde was due in court to answer for statutory rape charges.

Cops suspected it was a hoax but went along with the story while they searched for evidence of a drowning and posted updates on the rescue and “frantic” search for Emde’s body.

Why did the police think it was all a ruse? Emde was still wearing his ankle monitor from his previous arrest…and on the day of his “drowning” he was really at a Walmart buying two prepaid phones.

On Sunday, Emde was taken into custody after a traffic stop and crash while he was driving his motorcycle in Georgia.

A drug dealer in Pennsylvania was arrested, after he called the cops to his apartment, saying he was robbed.  But when they got there, they saw his drugs and paraphernalia sitting around . . . in plain sight.

According to reports, 46-year-old Allen Phelan Jr. called the police to report that someone had broken a window and entered his apartment. When officers arrived it did not appear that anyone had broken into the residence. They asked Phelan if anything was missing.

He took officers around his apartment where they allege a pill bottle with a white powder was in clear view with a small measuring spoon. That's when they placed Phelan in custody and executed a search warrant.

During the search warrant, they found: 47 grams of Fentanyl and 71 packages of it valued at $25,000, 13 grams of meth, 20 grams of marijuana, 9 suboxone strips, and 12 clonazepam

According to reports, a 53-year-old man in Florida was caught stealing from Walmart this week.

He tried putting a bunch of stuff up his shirt and walk out the store, but Walmart security stopped him and called the cops. When the police caught up with him, he blurted out, quote, "I'm not good at shoplifting."  He was hit with a felony because he had a couple of priors.

According to reports, a man broke into a Panama City church using a cinder block to break a window.  The man identified as Derek Porter caused over $8K in damage to the facility.

A church employee heard the sound of Porter smashing the window and fled.  When police arrived and found him he admitted to baptizing himself in the church’s baptistry pool and claimed he wasn't sure everything he did inside the building.

Police report that Porter had several electronics including a television and a computer from the church in his truck along with the church’s money bag.  They also found drug and drug paraphernalia on him. Here is some body cam footage during the arrest.

Porter has been charged with burglary of an occupied structure, criminal mischief, possession of meth, and possession of drug paraphernalia.