National Alien Abduction Day Shows Love To Little Green Man

I think it's time we just accept that aliens are all around us. No, I'm not talking about people from other countries. I'm talking about beings from other planets. And those beings are just as obsessed with us as we are with them. In fact, so many people have been abducted by the little green guys (and girls, and, just because I want to be all-inclusive and crap, the thems and theys) that we have a National Alien Abduction Day. Celebrated every year on March 20th, to be exact.

According to checkiday.com, Alien Abduction Day is for people who have been abducted by aliens in the past. Or for those who expect to be taken in the near future.

The day is also considered to be a fun and lighthearted way to express the idea of wanting to be abducted by extraterrestrial beings. A day for UFO die-hards to share stories, theories, and jokes about the possibility of encounters with E.T.

That's cute, but why kid around? I mean, what about those of us who would seriously love for aliens to come and abduct us? To take us on a journey to Mars or wherever the hell they come from. Maybe that should be a separate day. National Alien Please Abduct Me Day!

Even better, what about those of us who would love for National Alien Abduction Day to be a day that someone else is abducted? Someone we actually need to be taken by Yoda (or better yet, Darth Vader) so we don't have to put up with their crap anymore?

No, no, I'm not talking about my editor...not really anyway (ok, ok, maybe I am).

Look, I get it, this day is not meant to be taken seriously. I know it's just a fun way to talk about the possibility of being taken to other universes. And the opportunity to explore the mysteries of the galaxy. But you know me. I rarely take anything seriously.

But Alien Abduction Day enthusiasts are very serious about their National Day. Some of them even throw a big “rave” every year called the Alien Abduction Festival. It's in the middle of the woods in British Columbia.

At the festival, enthusiasts dress super colorful, have DJ's and probably hang out with Molly. For real, it looks like an EDC party thrown in between trees.

Related: Another Music Festival Is Coming To Las Vegas

New Mexico gets into the party mood as well. Every 4th of July weekend, they invade Roswell and hold an annual UFO Festival.

They have live music, guest speakers, a costume contest and more. They even say they may have an alien abduction that day.

That sounds amazing. Maybe I should buy my editor a pair of tickets and then cross my fingers.

Some people did puzzles. Some people got really into doing TikTok dances. Other people baked bread. For me, the lockdown days of the pandemic found me getting baked for the first time ever.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "How does someone wait until their mid-thirties to explore the world of cannabis?"

The answer is simple: In my late teens, I tried weed, and it made me super-paranoid. As a result, I kept a safe distance from it for well over a decade. Instead, I just rolled with alcohol if I was looking to unwind.

Cut to 2020, and like most people, I had a lot of time on my hands. Besides working (thankfully) from home and streaming TV shows and movies, I started reading more news.

One day, I fell down an internet rabbit hole about delta-8 THC. In 2020, delta-8 THC was the latest craze in the cannabis world. In a nutshell, delta-8 THC is derived from the hemp plant. It is a milder version of delta-9 THC that is derived from marijuana. This is a compound with psychoactive properties that cause users to feel "high."

One of the big differences between both THC compounds is that delta-8 was found to be less likely to induce anxiety. The biggest difference, however, was that delta-8 fell into a unique gray area that caused it to technically be federally legal for a period of time. This was thanks to the 2018 Farm Bill signed into law by President Donald Trump.

Per NBC News, "That legislation legalized hemp, which is defined as a cannabis plant that contains 0.3 percent delta-9 THC or less — levels considered too low to have a psychoactive effect. However, the bill does not address delta-8 THC levels, an omission that makes it legal for vendors to sell the compound, often as edibles, vape cartridges and tinctures, with no oversight."

As of October 2023, delta-8 is legal in 25 state. As a resident of Michigan, delta-8 is legal but now falls under the same regulations as state-legal marijuana following legislation signed into law by Gov. Gretchen Whitmer in July 2021.

Once I read a lot of reports from reliable sources and consulted friends who were more familiar with the world of cannabis than me, I decided to try a delta-8 gummy edible. To my delight, the "high" was mild and very pleasant. Most importantly, I did not experience the paranoia that had scared the hell out of me in my late teens. It also helped me get a quality night's sleep, and unlike unwinding with alcohol, I had no hangover-like symptoms.

The next step, of course, was obvious: Listen to iconic stoner albums while high! Naturally, the first one I reached for was Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, an album I loved but never listened to while stoned.

So, what was it like to listen to Dark Side of the Moon high for the first time at age 35? Here were my five takeaways:

There are a number of instances on Dark Side of the Moon where audio moves from the right channel/speaker to the left and back again. The most dizzying example comes courtesy of "On the Run," which is rather intense sober, but when you're high, I could feel the sensations of the audio move from the right and left sides of my body.

Dark Side of the Moon is an album to be experienced with a quality pair of headphones. It enhances the aforementioned channel transitions immensely. Before listening to the LP high for the first time, I coincidently purchased a pair of Sony Noise Cancelling Headphones. They retail at $148, but fortunately, Amazon offered (and as of publishing, continues to offer) an option to split the cost of the headphones into three monthly payments of $49.34, which I was able to financially handle. (For those interested, you can check out the listing for those headphones here.)

Singer Clare Torry is the force behind the acrobatic vocals on "The Great Gig in the Sky." They remain some of the most stunning vocals in recorded rock history, and even though I enjoyed the track before, it felt like I was hearing them for the first time. What an incredible achievement this song is on an LP already filled with incredible moments.

Let's just put it out there: "Time" is a bit of a downer of a song. However, that underlying grove that bursts through with the first verse ("Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day") just SLAPS! It's uniquely seductive, and it's amazing it's not ripped off more. It's probably due to very few, if any, having the hubris to out-Pink Floyd the actual Pink Floyd.

Could I get into trouble for saying "Money" is overplayed on classic rock radio? Yes, but this whole article may get me into trouble, so what's the sense in stopping now? Anyway, while I wish more Pink Floyd tunes would get airplay, I have a new understanding and appreciation for "Money" after listening to the classic track high for the first time. Perhaps, it's the alternating time signatures from 7/8 to 4/4, back to 7/8 and then back to 4/4 again. Maybe my own disdain for the super-wealthy is enhanced whist high. Either way, I get it now, and I'll try my best to refrain from playing "armchair radio program director."

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