Where Vegas Ranked In America’s Hard Working Cities

First of all, and most egregiously wrong, Washington DC ranks #1 in this study! Seriously. Who ranked these cities? Because I don’t think anyone in that city works hard at anything. Unless it’s to screw us over. I mean if that’s the criteria, well then maybe they have it right.

And don’t get me started on where Vegas ranked… 88? I love the number 88 but come on. This city works its butt off (literally, in some cases). For instance, this city has more strippers per capita then Poughkipsie NY has coffee shops. And don’t think stripping is a cake walk (even when they are popping out of cakes).

Think about it. These hardworking ladies do lap dances all night. That’s literally three to five minutes of constant ab work, squats and dead lifts (without the weight bar). Plus they have to fight off sweaty, sloth Jabba the Huts all night long. They’d do less kicking, punching and grappling if they were in the UFC.

And while that all is incredibly daunting work, nothing compares to the work they do after work. When they have to wash the smell of desperation, sleaze, and cotton candy in an ashtray off their soul every single night. That, in and of itself, is the equivalent of competing in a Iron Man Competition. Those ladies (and some men) deserve the kudos for all their hard work.

Last Call For Drinks, And Complaints About Metallica

Another faction of the service industry in Sin City that should land us on the hard working cities list: Bartenders.

These hard-working Americans must listen to drunk people drone on and on about their problems for hours. And, unlike a therapist, they aren’t making $100 an hour (or get nearly as psychologically damaged). They also must fend off overly-inebriated imbeciles. Who so desperately need to get laid that they hang out until 5 a.m. because they think it will give them a shot at getting some. Plus, bartenders have to clean up puke at least three times a week. That alone is almost as bad as doing work like ditch digging. Or worse, being a medical biller.

But you know who also works hard in this town? Your local radio DJ.

Yes, its true. We are busting our butts making sure you get your Nirvana on a hourly basis. Not to mention your station t-shirts and free pizza. We have to deal with listeners who are pissed about hearing “Give it Away” all the time but then turn around and request Green Day’s “Wake Me Up When September Ends”.

And don’t get me started on having to deal with the Metallica debate. I’ve heard this one my ENTIRE career. “Metallica sucks since”…you name it…”since they added acoustic guitars”, or “since the black album”. And my favorite: “since they cut their hair.” OMG be like that chick in Frozen and let it go. That debate is so old and exhausting, I’d rather be in Washington debating some old fat sweaty Jabba the Hut politician who’s about to puke on me.

Show Some Love To Your Hard Working Vegas People

So, my friend, March 1 is Employee Appreciation Day. And even though this particular study didn’t rank Vegas as one of the hard working cities, we know our people bust their butts. So, tip your bartenders extra this week. Respect your strippers. And stop debating your local DJ about Metallica. Just enjoy the tunes and scarf up the free pizza.