The Thing About The Humiliation Kink Is All Of That Humiliation
Q: Shannon called The Cooper and Anthony Show to talk about her humiliation kink. She said that her boyfriend enjoys it too and wants to do more humiliation play with her. It’s a big turn on, but sometimes she feels sad afterwards. She wants to know why she feels this way especially since she asked for her kink need to be met and her boyfriend is doing what she asked. In fact, the whole thing turns them both on, so, why the sadness?
Well, that’s the whole point of humiliation play. You’re supposed to feel humiliated. But with that, there can be sadness. It’s a normal emotion to feel. But it also illustrates why “aftercare” is so vital. Let me explain the humiliation kink to our readers and then we’ll get in to what to do about feeling sad afterwards and proper aftercare.
WHAT IS EROTIC HUMILIATION?
Erotic humiliation, also known as a humiliation kink, is when s person gets aroused by being humiliated or embarrassed by their partner. This is all between two consenting adults, naturally. But sometimes the humiliation is too real, the person you’re with is too good at it or you’re low-key enjoying how sad it makes you feel.
PROPER AFTERCARE IS VITAL
When you are done with the sexual aspect of the fetish and the kink then you need proper aftercare. It’s your come down from all of that kink play. The more intense the kink, the more aftercare is required. So, for humiliation play, you’ll need some serious downtime. Your boyfriend needs to take care of you. It can be as simple as a quick cuddle or long, relaxing pillow talk, to some after sex ritual that works for you.
I know couples who eat ice cream in bed and watch Family Guy as an aftercare ritual. You need to figure out what kind of aftercare ritual works best for you. You should not expect to undergo such intense emotions without being able to properly wind down after. This is likely why you’re experiencing sadness. Long-term, that’s not good.
TIPS FOR HEALTHY HUMILIATION KINK PLAY
Here’s how to enjoy the humiliation kink without taking it too personally:
- Clear communication: Before exploring this kink with a partner, have an open and honest conversation about boundaries, limits, and safe words. Establishing clear communication helps ensure that both parties understand each other’s needs and limits.
- Trust and consent: Trust is crucial when exploring any kink. Make sure you trust your partner and that you both provide enthusiastic and informed consent to engage in this type of play.
- Establish boundaries: Understand your emotional limits and establish clear boundaries. Decide what is acceptable and what is not, both for the specific scenes and the overall dynamic.
- Keep it within the role-play: Remind yourself and your partner that this is a consensual role-play scenario. Acknowledge that any humiliation or degradation that occurs during the play is part of the role and not a reflection of your true value as a person.
- Aftercare: After engaging in any intense or emotionally charged play, ensure that you provide adequate aftercare for each other. Aftercare involves offering emotional support, reassurance, and comfort to help both partners transition back to their everyday mindset.
- Reflect and communicate: After the scene, take some time to reflect on your feelings and experiences. If you find that certain aspects of the kink are causing undue stress or emotional discomfort, communicate openly with your partner to adjust the play or establish new boundaries.
- Personal growth and self-awareness: Engaging in kink can sometimes bring up unexpected emotions or thoughts. Use these experiences as an opportunity for personal growth and self-awareness. Consider discussing your feelings with a therapist or counselor if you find it beneficial.
Remember that engaging in any kink is a personal choice, and not everyone will find the same things enjoyable. It’s essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and ensure that you and your partner are on the same page throughout the experience. If you have a question for Dr. Cooper 888-460-6002