They Made Fun Of My Penis In High School I’m Still Shook To This Day
Q: Brian called The Cooper and Anthony Show to talk penis size. He said his was average but 20 years ago, in high school, one of his first lovers told him his was small compared to other ones she had seen. Even though it was so many years ago, Brian wanted to know why he still thinks about it and why it still shakes him to his core.
A: Our Dr. Cooper told him: First of all. You are not your penis. Second, when we relive past events in our heads, like something someone said to us years and years ago that still bothers us to this day, it’s usually because that person- unknowingly- tapped into something important and significant to us.
But in keeping this loop going for so many years, all you’re doing is giving power to some bitch who said something to hurt you, something that is obviously untrue. Her motivation was to be cruel and it worked.
Hanging on to the words of said bitch is giving her power.
What To Do Instead Of Reliving That Trauma
Instead, why don’t you relive all the women who told you what an amazing lover you were and how great sex was with you? The fact that you are choosing to keep the bitch’s loop in your head is messed up, Brian. That’s her issue, not yours and it isn’t true. Stop giving it power. She doesn’t deserve to hurt you this long term. It’s up to you to make it stop.
How To Make It Stop
Brain pathways work like this: you keep thinking something, that pathway gets deeper and deeper and more solid. But if you start to change that pathway and let it go, you take away its power in your brain. Thats up to you to do.
You have to un-think those thoughts. The minute you feel yourself going there, think about the girl who told you what an amazing lover you were. Make that the thought instead.
Why Making Fun Of You In High School Still Stings
Emotional Resonance: Hurtful comments can evoke strong emotions, leaving a lasting impact on our memory. These emotions can resurface when we think about the incident, leading to continued distress.
Self-Esteem: High school is a formative period for developing self-esteem and self-identity. Negative comments during this time can contribute to feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt that persist into adulthood.
Social Comparison: Human beings tend to compare themselves to others, and hurtful comments from the past can perpetuate negative self-comparisons. If we feel like we don’t measure up, (especially a penis) to others due to past comments, it can lead to ongoing feelings of insecurity.
Unresolved Feelings: If the issue was never addressed or resolved, the emotional impact can linger. Without closure or validation, we may continue to feel hurt or misunderstood.
Cognitive Biases: Our brains have a negativity bias, meaning we tend to give more weight to negative experiences than positive ones. This bias can make hurtful comments stand out more prominently in our minds.
Trauma and Triggering: In some cases, hurtful comments in high school could have been a form of emotional or psychological trauma. Certain triggers, such as encountering similar situations or emotions in adulthood, can bring back the feelings associated with the original incident.
Identity and Belonging: High school is often a time when we’re trying to find our place in social groups. Hurtful comments can affect our sense of belonging and identity, and these issues can continue to affect us as adults.
Reinforcement: If the mean comment reinforced pre-existing self-doubts or insecurities, it might become deeply ingrained in our self-perception, making it more difficult to let go of over time