6 Ways Empty Nesters Can Get Their Sex Life Back Right Now!
Q: Ted called The Cooper and Anthony Show. He said he and his wife now have an empty nest, but they haven’t had sex in a while, except for the occasional oral. He says he feels responsible, like he’s let her down. How can he get her back in the mood again?
A: Our Dr. Cooper told him: Thats nice that you are putting it all on you, but it’s both of you, so first take the pressure of responsibility off of yourself.
Second….since it’s been a while since you have had sex, and the only thing you’ve done is the rare oral, — you have to start over…start slow, like you just started dating again. Meaning, kissing, cuddling, and hand holding- just something to help you reconnect to make getting back into sex less awkward.
Then, once you’ve done that, take the sex challenge – one week, oral every night. No excuses, make time for it, even if its not to orgasm. It’s like any habit, like going to the gym or cutting down on sugar, each day you make an effort. An influencer talked about it recently and now we’re obsessed with the idea, because it works!
Just don’t be too hard on yourself if you miss a day. Some days you’ll be successful, some days you’ll fall short, but keep at it, for just one week. Then see where it goes.
This is also a time to finally fulfill some of those fantasies you’ve both had. As we’ve said before, its no coincidence that the swinger community is full of people over 50. Not that you should become swingers, I’m not suggesting that, I’m just saying, try stuff at home you never normally have tried, like sex toys or new positions, dirty talk, or even just discussing fantasies can start you up again– keep it fun and playful.
So, take it slow and then do the one week sex challenge. Reviving and enhancing your sex life as empty nesters can be a wonderful way to reconnect and rediscover intimacy in your relationship. Here are some other tips to help you get started:
- Prioritize Intimacy: Make time for intimacy in your schedule. Plan date nights or weekend getaways where you can focus on each other without the distractions of daily life.
- Explore New Activities: Trying new things together can bring excitement back into your relationship. This could involve hobbies, adventures, or even exploring new sexual experiences that you’re both comfortable with.
- Work Out, Walk, Whatever: Regular exercise and maintaining a healthy lifestyle can boost energy levels and improve overall well-being, which in turn can lead to an increased desire for intimacy.
- Focus on Your Emotional Connection: Strengthening your emotional bond is vital. Spend quality time together, share your thoughts and feelings, and express affection in non-sexual ways.
- Experimentation: Be open to trying new things in the bedroom. This could involve exploring fantasies, introducing adult toys, or experimenting with different forms of intimacy.
- Celebrate Your Relationship: Take time to appreciate each other’s strengths, accomplishments, and the journey you’ve been on together. Recognizing and celebrating your partnership can foster a sense of closeness.