5 Steps To A Healthy Open Marriage
Q: On this week’s Cooper and Anthony Show, Annie told us that her husband wanted a three some with two women, but she’s not into it. So, it lead them to a conversation. about starting an open marriage so he can go do that without her. She asked Dr. Cooper, “what are the first steps to an open marriage?”
A: There are some rules that you both need to agree to follow in order for this to work:
- Your marriage is always the priority– that means regardless of what ELSE is going on, you always make time for each other and if any other person gets in the way, they need to be told, you and he are the priority. But making time fort your relationship is important. You don’t want this to lead to you living separate lives, since that isn’t what an open marriage is about.
- Talk about safe sex, This is essential because you must avoid STIs and pregnancy. Nothing will cause resentment quicker than one spouse in an open relationship being irresponsible and getting the other person infected.
- Decide if its going to be a don’t ask/don’t tell relationship or a tell all situation. Some couples don’t want to know, and they’re fine with their spouse doping whatever. While others get turned on by the idea of someone else banging their spouse and being sexually attracted to them. Decide which you guys are.
- Don’t let jealousy build. It will likely happen. While jealousy is not inevitable, it does happen and sometimes when you least expect it. You have to talk about it, deal with it and be honest when those feeling come up. In fact, jealousy may lead you to change the parameters and boundaries of your open marriage
- Make rules together The rules of what you can and can’t do and who you do it with are individual and should be discussed beforehand. We know a guy who prefers to keep it in the friend group and doesn’t want his wife picking up strangers. While another couple may decide they are only open when one of them is out if town, which is more common. Ask yourselves, where are your boundaries?