Lying About Sex? Most Of Us Do
When we at the Cooper and Anthony Show came across a study about sex and the lies we tell our partners we were floored! Not because of the number of lies people tell (there were many) but how many of us and how many of you guys lie about sex too. The study was done by Dr. Christian L. Hart and his students. They asked people what are some of the sex lies they tell and there were so many, they actually came up with a list of 100 lies! Wanna hear a few of them?
TOP TEN LIES WE TELL ABOUT SEX
10. We Lie About Our Body Count- At some point in any relationship it’s going to come up. How many people have you been with? It’s a tricky question because a recent survey found that 50% of people don’t count oral as “having sex” which means your body count is already a lie. Then there’s the actual number. Is 5 too few? Is 20 too many? Nobody knows.
9. We Lie About Our Sexual Interest- In the moment we might talk a good game. Like if we’re flirting or with our partner in some non sexual setting, we want you to know that in theory we’re game. However, after a long day of work, stress from our kids, our boss, our parents…sex is the last thing on our minds. So, while we’re still sexually active in general, maybe just not right now.
8. We Lie About Our Sexual Experience -This is where gender differences come in. Women may lie because they don’t want to appear too slutty in certain environments, but in others they may want to let their freak flag fly. For men, it’s the opposite. Most men don’t want to appear naive about sex, so they may lie to save face.
7. We Lie About How Good That Was– it’s not always your best work but we’re not going to tell our partner that. Mainly because we don’t want you in your head that we don’t think you’re good in bed. Maybe you were just having an off day? Maybe we were? If you’re terrible all the time, we’re not going to lie about that. Trust us.
6. We Lie About How Sexually Attractive We Find You – Sometimes what we find attractive about you has nothing to do with your body or your appearance. But nobody is going to be in the throes of passion and say, “Oh my gosh, your sense of humor is so HOT.” The last thing anyone wants is for their partner to have a complex or feel insecure as they’;re about to get naked.
5. We Lie About If We Think Your Friend Is Hot– If you see us checking out your friend or a celebrity, don’t ask if they’re hotter than you. Just don’t ask. Other people will always be more attractive than you. Just so long as we don’t act on it, who cares.
4. We Lie When We’re Not In The Mood -I’m feeling tired, sick, the dog threw up, my mom just called, I have to wake up early, I ate too much dinner, the kids will hear us. You’ve done it. We’ve all done it.
3. We Lie About How Good That Feels-Maybe we don’t fake an orgasm, but we may fake a moan or two. Not because we want to lie to you. The opposite, we want to encourage you and let you know that you’re on the right track.
2.We Lie About The Big O– A 2022 study found that women will fake an orgasm if we think we’re with a guy who has a fragile ego. If we sense you’re too insecure to handle the truth. So, that one’s on you, buddy.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING WE ALL LIE ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO SEX (PUN INTENDED)
1. We Lie About How Excited We Are To Have Sex Tonight
In the morning when we’re waking up and looking all cute we say, “Tonight, babe?” and it’s on. But after a long day the last thing on our minds is sex. It takes so much energy and a quickie feels so thankless. This is why there is a HUGE trend for couples to start scheduling sex.
We’ll get more into that in a future post, but it’s a great way to stop lying to each other about feigned desire.
WHAT THE RESEARCHERS FOUND
Hart concluded his study by saying, “People tend to lie when there is an incentive to do so. People lie when telling the truth seems difficult or when telling the truth would impede their goals. Lying seems like the easy way out. However, there is much research on romantic relationships that shows that dishonesty usually creates emotional distance and relational dissatisfaction. If the urge to lie comes up during sex, it might be a good time to examine the basis for that motivation and look for honest ways to achieve the same goal.”
