College Girls Just Want To Have Fun Too
Stacy is in college. She told our Dr. Cooper that she had “fun” in high school. She’s had 7 safe sex partners and thought she knew how to have fun but then realized that alcohol actually fueled her nerve to ask a guy out. Now that she is in college she’s sober and also having a sexual dry spell.
How does she: a) hook up with a guy without him thinking it’ll be serious b) meet guys sober?
Stacey is also against Tinder hook ups and swiping in general. She wants to meet IRL. Look, not everyone is into app dating, so what’s a college girl to do? Dr. Cooper had some ideas.
HOOKING UP IN COLLEGE
The good thing about sex in college now is there is a greater understanding of consent. So, while sex is usually more consensual it’s hard to have a casual hook up without it feeling transactional. Because sometimes casual sex can feel like a transaction rather than an intimate moment so you have to decide if that works for you. If it doesn’t, I’d suggest finding an FWB situation. That will insure you’re both on the same page. Plus the communication is likely to be better since your future together is not at stake.
But if you don’t mind it being just sex and nothing more then skip the parties and approach anyone you’re attracted to in a regular university situation. You’ll be in class, on campus, at the library, wherever you’d normally go that is a non alcohol related locale on campus.
Or, you could just ask a guy (or girl) in your class out for coffee or to come back to your dorm to study, but just be honest once you’re there. You should say, “I’m attracted to you but I’m not looking for anything serious, just a hookup, is that ok with you?”
If you’re friendly, honest and you ask for what you want you’ll be surprised by the response you’ll get from people who are just waiting for a confident girl like you to ask them.
And while we’re on the subject of consent, people think sexual consent is formal and not hot and breaks the mood. Untrue! That’s why I suggest working consent into your moves like:
I’d love to kiss you. Are you OK with that?
Can I go down on you?
Is it OK if I touch you there?
What would you like to do?
Do you want to have sex?
Is this OK?
Finally, for a casual hook up in a NSA relationship, whatever you do, do not do relationship things together. No pumpkin picking, being a plus one at a wedding, no candlelit romantic dinners on the roof and nobody should be meeting anyone’s friends or family. You’ll send mixed signals and the whole idea of a casual hookup is the casual part.
