My Friend Is Driving Me Nuts Talking About His Relationship Issues!
Q: Len called The Cooper and Anthony Show. His best friend’s wife cheated on him and she won’t talk about it or go to therapy plus the friend is in denial about the whole thing. The friend keeps talking to Len about it over and over and over. He’s given him advice but his advice gets ignored. Len wants to help but it’s now getting annoying. How can he be helpful but also get the dude to stop bitching?
A: I don’t think it’s your place to offer him advice. You have no experience or training to really help him in any real way, so all you can do is be his friend and listen. If he’s in denial, that’s his problem, not yours. That marriage is going to go how it’s going to go no matter what you say.
He knows he’s been cheated on for years and he knows that she doesn’t want to go to therapy or do anything about it. So, there’s nothing you can say that he doesn’t already know.
It’s not your job to save him. It’s not your job to advise him. But it is your job to listen. So, just do that. Take the pressure off yourself to feel like you have to give him a solution. You don’t, and your not equipped to.
Supporting a friend who’s been cheated on but is in denial about their marriage involves navigating sensitive emotions and personal boundaries. All you can do is this:
- Be a good listener: Be non-judgmental with your friend to share their feelings with you. Let them express their thoughts, emotions, and concerns without interruption. then validate their experiences. No advice needed.
- Express concern without pushing: Once your friend has opened up, gently express your concern about their situation. Just avoid being confrontational or judgmental, as it may push them further into denial. Again, no advice needed.
- Respect their autonomy: While it can be challenging to witness a friend in denial, it’s important to remember that it is ultimately their decision to address the situation.. or not. Respect their choice and avoid pushing them to take any particular action or make any decisions before they’re ready.
- Maintain your support: Let your friend know that you are there for them, no matter what they choose. Offer your support and continue to be a source of strength during this challenging time. Remind them that they deserve to be treated with respect and care.
Remember, each person’s journey is unique, and healing from infidelity takes time. He won’t be in denial forever. Your role is to offer support, understanding, and friendship while respecting your friend’s choices. In other words, be there for him, but don’t push. Just listen.
